Excerpts from the Infijoy Confidence at Work Webinar with Aliya Rajah 

We all have an inner critic that can be harsher than any external feedback we might receive. Learning to manage this self-criticism is essential for building confidence and nurturing a healthy mindset. So, how can we become less self-critical and more compassionate toward ourselves? Here are some practical strategies and insights to help you on your journey.

Understanding the Inner Critic

It’s completely normal for our inner critic to pop up from time to time. We often carry the expectation that we should be positive all the time, but that’s simply unrealistic. Acknowledging that it’s okay not to feel our best is a crucial first step. Understanding the root of your negative self-talk is equally important. Ask yourself:

• What am I saying to myself?
• Where are these thoughts coming from?
• How do they affect my emotions and actions?
• Do I want to continue feeling this way?

By holding a mirror to your thoughts, you can begin to identify patterns of negativity and take steps to change them.

Practicing Self-Awareness

The first step in overcoming self-criticism is to develop self-awareness. Often, we are not even conscious of the negative thoughts running through our minds. One effective exercise to challenge these thoughts is to imagine how you would talk to a seven-year-old. Would you speak to them as harshly as you speak to yourself? This perspective can serve as a reminder to treat yourself with kindness and understanding.

Another effective approach is to think about how you would respond to a friend in a similar situation. This often leads to a much more compassionate response than the one we give ourselves.

Cultivating Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is a powerful tool for combating self-criticism. When faced with setbacks or failures, it’s easy to spiral into negative self-talk: “Why did I do that? I’m so stupid!” Instead of adding salt to your wounds, practice self-compassion. Treat yourself as you would a dear friend or loved one. Acknowledge your pain and remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes.

While it’s easier said than done, developing self-compassion takes time and practice. Start by being mindful of your self-talk and making small shifts towards kindness. Remember, change doesn’t happen overnight; it’s about taking incremental steps toward a more compassionate mindset.

Combatting Social Media Comparisons

In today’s digital world, comparing ourselves to others is almost unavoidable, especially with the prevalence of social media. Scrolling through curated highlights of others’ lives can make anyone feel inadequate. However, it’s crucial to remember that what you see online is often just a polished version of reality.

To combat this comparison trap, focus on acknowledging your strengths and achievements. Keep a gratitude journal to remind yourself of the positive aspects of your life. When you cultivate gratitude, you’ll find yourself less inclined to compare your journey to that of others.

Moreover, recognize that everyone faces challenges and struggles, even if they don’t share them publicly. By focusing on your unique path and growth, you can shift your mindset from one of comparison to one of self-empowerment.

Finding Balance in Comparison

While constant comparison can be damaging, it’s also possible to draw inspiration from others. If you find someone motivating or inspiring, allow yourself to learn from their journey rather than feeling threatened by it. This productive form of comparison can help you identify areas for growth without diminishing your self-worth.

Ultimately, it’s about finding the right balance. Stay conscious of how comparisons affect your self-esteem and redirect your focus to your own progress and goals.

Final Thoughts 

Overcoming self-criticism is a journey that requires awareness, self-compassion, and a conscious effort to shift your mindset. By understanding your inner critic, cultivating kindness towards yourself, and managing external comparisons, you can build a more confident and resilient self. Remember, it’s not about perfection; it’s about progress and the ongoing journey of self-discovery. Embrace your unique path, celebrate your strengths, and allow yourself the grace to grow. Start today by practicing self-kindness, and witness how it transforms your confidence and outlook on life with the online 7-Day Confidence Challenge with Aliya.